Saturday, May 9, 2015

New Monster?

Disclaimer: In real life, yogibo's are awesome. We love our yogibo. I received a tweet from the company that simply said "Whoa". This made me feel a little guilty, because one or more of us are on the thing every day. The following is "just for fun" and is in no way a product review, or meant to be disparaging towards yogibo's (or meat boys) in the real world. 

Super Yogi-Boy
We got a "yogibo" for my wife over the holidays, and after months of use, I think I am qualified to share the dark secret all yogibo owners know, but few reveal. What at first seemed like a fluffy, wondrous treasure chest is' in fact, closer to some manner of "undead mimic".

Some come to this realization early on, even after one use.  It took me a while to discern the dark nature of this glorified bean bag chair. It's all in the "micro beads" of styrofoam that instantly rearrange themselves to conform to your body no matter the position you choose. It's a bed, its a couch, stand it up and it's an awkward bar stool.  Sounds amazing right? Wrong. Just try to get up after ten minutes or so. You have just experienced "level drain".

Wondrous Bed Roll SZ M; MV 2'; Atk Special;
HD 3+1; HP 14; INT low; AL CE; LV 3; XP 140

Usually found in large treasure hordes, these exotic bedrolls appear to be the "travel pillows" of royalty. Resting on one for even a short time heals 1d4 points of damage. The bedroll now has a taste for the life essence of the character, and the next time they rest, the monster's true nature will be revealed.  The character will find they have been level drained, and will refuse to get up. If the character is not forcibly "helped" off of the bed roll, they will be wholly absorbed in one day's time. If attacked, the bedroll will attempt to control its intended victim, compelling them to come to its aid.